Harry

A man secretly wants his wife's cat get rid of it and decides to expose it. He takes her in the car, drives 20 houses, abandons the cat and drives home. Ten minutes later the cat is back. “Well,” the man thinks, “maybe the route was a little too short.” Gets back in the car with the cat, drives 5 kilometers and puts it out. Twenty minutes later the cat is back home. "That's enough!" The man thinks to himself, takes the cat in the car and drives 20 kilometers, then through the forest, over a bridge, right, left and then finally abandons the cat in a clearing in the middle of the forest. Half an hour later the man calls home. "Is the cat there?" he asks his wife. "Yes why?" "Get her on the phone, I'm lost."

A woman has an affair while her husband is at work. While she is in bed with her lover, her 13-year-old son comes in, sees them and hides in the closet to watch. Then the man comes home and the woman puts her lover in the closet without noticing that her son is already in there. Son: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes." Son: "I have a baseball." Man: "Nice." Son: “Do you want to buy it?” Man: "No, thank you." Son: "My father is standing out there..." Man: "Okay, all right, how much?" Son: “250 euros” Man: "Okay." After three weeks the same thing happens again, again the son and the lover are in the closet together. Son: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes." Son: "I have a baseball glove." The man remembers the game from last time and asks annoyed: "How much this time?" Son: “750 euros” Man: "All right." A few days later the father says to the son: "Come on, let's play baseball, get your ball and your glove." Boy: "I can't, I sold the stuff." Father: "For how much?" Boy: "1000 euros." Father: "It's outrageous to rip off your friends like that, it's much more than the things are worth. Now you come to church and confess your sins." They both go to church and the father puts the boy in the confessional. Boy: "Dark in here." Pastor: “Don’t start that shit again.”

The twin brothers Martin and Egon leave stroll. Suddenly Egon has to go to the toilet. He quickly runs to the nearest house and rings the bell. An old woman opens it. Egon: "I really need to go to the toilet!" The old woman shows him the toilet and Egon does his business. He later tells his twin brother about his experience: "Imagine, they have a toilet made of pure gold!" Martin becomes curious and on the way back he too rings the doorbell and asks if he could quickly use the toilet. The old woman then said to her husband: "Hermann, the guy who shit in your tuba is here again!"

Two people at a job interview the police. The first one goes in. The boss says: “So, say the alphabet.” He does it, it works wonderfully and the boss asks: “Do you notice anything about me?” - "Yes. They have no ears!" The cop roars: "That can't be true, you cheeky man! This is a war injury! Get out!" The guy goes out and says to the other guy: "He'll ask you later if you notice anything about him. Don't under any circumstances say that he doesn't have ears!" The other person remembers it and goes in. The boss asks again about the alphabet, he can recite it excellently, and the boss asks again if he notices anything about him. Says the newcomer: "You're wearing contact lenses." - "How did you notice that?" - "Well, if you had ears, you would wear glasses."

Grandpa goes outdoors with his grandson for a walk and says: "Now just look at this beautiful nature, the green trees and the lush meadows." He breaks off a blade of grass and chews on it. The grandson asks: “Grandpa, are we getting a new car now?” - “How did you come up with that now?” - "Well, because Dad said that if Grandpa bites the dust, we'll get a new car."

In the Lenin year the directors of the three Moscow watch factories ordered to the Kremlin. The first reports: "We are now building a cuckoo clock, every hour the cuckoo comes out and shouts: 'Lenin, Lenin, Lenin'." Says the second: "That's nothing at all. The cuckoo comes out of our clock and shouts: 'Long live Lenin! Long live Lenin'!" "Well," says the third, "we took a slightly different approach. Lenin comes out here and shouts: 'Cuckoo, cuckoo'!"