After every flight, pilots fill out a form where

[Harry]

After every flight, pilots fill out a form
where they inform the mechanics of problems that occurred during the flight and that require repair or correction. In return, the mechanics inform the pilots on the lower part of the form what actions they have taken before the aircraft takes off again. You can't say that the ground crew or engineers are humorless about this. Here are some complaints and problems that have actually been filed by QANTAS airline pilots. In addition, the respective response comment from the mechanics. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a crash.

P = Problem reported by pilot.
S = The solution/measure of the engineer/mechanic.

P: The inside left tires almost need to be replaced.
S: Inside left tires almost renewed.

P: Test flight OK, landing very hard with autopilot.
S: Landing with autopilot not installed on this aircraft type.

P: Something is loose in the cockpit.
S: We fixed something in the cockpit again.

P: Dead bugs on the window.
S: Live beetles on backorder.

P: The autopilot initiates a descent of 200 fpm despite being set to "hold altitude".
S: Unfortunately, we cannot understand this problem on the ground.

P: Indication of a leak on the right side.
S: Note removed.

P: DME is incredibly loud.
S: DME adjusted to more believable volume.

P: IFF doesn't work.
S: IFF never works when turned off.

P: Suspect crack in the window.
S: Guess you're right.

P: Drive 3 is missing.
S: Drive 3 found on the right wing after a short search.

P: Plane flies strangely.
S: Airplane warns to be serious and fly decently.

P: Target radar buzzes.
S: Targeting radar reprogrammed so that it now speaks in words.

P: Mouse in the cockpit.
S: Cat installed.