Harry

The passenger in the dining car, an East Frisian drank three bottles of wine and now he can't find his compartment anymore. He asks the train conductor for help. He scratches behind his ear: "Bad, bad! Don't you remember anything that would allow you to recognize your compartment?" The East Frisian thinks about it and then says happily: "Yes, now I remember: cows were grazing outside the window!"

A woman goes to the pet store and wants buy a special parrot. Pet shop owner: "Take this one, the one with the two strings on the legs." Woman: "What happens if you pull on it?" Pet shop owner: “Try it out.” The woman pulls on a string, the parrot lifts its leg and says: "Hello. Hello." The woman is excited and pulls the other string, and the parrot lifts its leg again and says, "Good evening. Good evening." The woman is fascinated and thinks out loud: "What will happen if I pull on both at the same time?" Then the parrot said: "Then it'll hit me in the face, you stupid cow!"

The officer comes to the doctor and has himself examined. He says: "Lately I feel like I've been worn out for a while!" - "Are you working too much?" - "Oh, that It's actually okay, Doctor, a year ago we had to work overtime still work about 42 hours and today there are only 37.5 hours left." - “Look,” the doctor diagnoses, “you’re probably missing something those 4.5 hours of sleep!"

A police car is routinely parked in the evening in front of a pub. Suddenly the door to the pub opens and an obvious A completely drunk guest staggers into the parking lot. The Police officers grin and watch as the man moves from car to car staggers and tries to unlock the car every time. After five He finally found his car and opened the driver's door and first lies flat on the driver and passenger seats. In the In the meantime, some guests leave the bar and get into their cars and drive away. The drunk gets up and switches it off Windshield wiper on - although it's a nice dry one It's a summer evening - then he activates the turn signal and switches it on Windshield wipers on quickly, turn on the lights and the radio, Turn the indicator off again and press the horn. Finally he starts the engine and turns on the windshield wipers again out of. He moves very slowly forward half a meter, then back half a meter again and then stands again for a few minutes as other guests enter the restaurant leave and drive away. Finally he slowly drives onto the Street. The police officer who watches the spectacle patiently and Amusedly watched, drives after the man, switches it off The blue light turns on and stops the drunk immediately have to take an alcohol test. To the big surprise The policeman's test is negative, whereupon he arrests the man asks you to come with me to the police station because there is something wrong with him Breathalyzer could not be correct. “I doubt that,” he says apparently drunk, "because today it was my turn to play decoy, so everyone else could drive away drunk."

An Indian in full war paint walks into a bar, on his shoulder a beautiful, large, colorful parrot. He orders firewater. The bartender stares for a long time at the Indian with the beautiful, large, colorful parrot and gives him the fire water. Then he asks: “It’s beautiful, where did you get it from?” The parrot answers: "From the prairie, there are thousands of them."

The football club's victory celebration breaks out the masseur with the news: "Our center forward has just become the father of twins." The team captain proudly exclaims: "God damn! He managed a nice one-two." At that moment the coach comes into the dressing room: "Wait! Let's not forget the excellent preparatory work from our libero!"

The teacher asks the class who knows a poem. Friedhelm speaks up and is supposed to present it. "An angler stands on the North Sea beach, the fishing rod in hand. A bass hangs on the fishing hook, the water is up to his knees!" "But Friedhelm, that doesn't rhyme at all!" "No, teacher, not now. But just wait until the tide comes in!"

Une femme turque attend des jumeaux. Comme Le moment venu et qu’elle commence le travail, elle appelle l’hôpital. Le centre de contrôle lui explique qu'il n'y a pas d'ambulance disponible pour le moment, mais que la police sera envoyée pour la récupérer. Dit et fait. Quelques heures plus tard, peu avant l'accouchement, le policier crie : "C'est bon, pousse, pousse..." Soudain, on voit sortir une petite tête qui se recule aussitôt et dit à son frère : "Hé, Murat, merde ! Il faut sortir par derrière, les flics attendent déjà là-haut !"

An off-road vehicle drives through the desert stall due to engine failure. If a white horse comes running, look under the hood and repair the damage. The driver looks at the horse in disbelief. After the car was running again, the man immediately drove to the nearest oasis, rushed into the nearest bar and told the innkeeper the incident. The innkeeper: "You're lucky, there's a black horse running around, but he doesn't know anything about cars."

A physicist, a mathematician and an astronomer stand in front of a flagpole and discuss how best to determine its height. The physicist is in favor of measuring gravity at both ends and drawing a conclusion from the measurement difference. The astronomer wants to determine the angle to Sirius and the Andromeda Nebula, this allows the most precise one in relation to the world axis, etc. - The mathematician rambles something about triangulation and angle functions... An English professor comes along and says, why don't you just put the bar down and measure it? As soon as he left, the physicist said to the other discussants, "you see it again, these laypeople have no idea, we are discussing height and he suggests a method for determining the length!"

At school the teacher asks what a be a catastrophe. Fritz answers: “If my hamster died.” - "No," says the teacher, "that would be a misfortune, but not a catastrophe. It would be a catastrophe if, for example, our entire government were to die in a plane crash." Says Fritz: "But then again that wouldn't be a bad thing!"

The East Frisian buys a chainsaw. The seller says: "With the model you can fell at least 30 trees a day." The East Frisian goes into the forest. On the first day he creates three trees, on the second five, and on the third even seven. Nevertheless, he is not satisfied and goes back to the store. The salesman looks at the chainsaw and says: "There's fuel in it, spark plugs are okay, I don't understand why you're having problems with it. Let's try it out." The salesman starts the saw. The East Frisian: "Hey, what's that sudden noise?"