Legionaire

Hello Steph40, Welcome to ipsProArcade. Please feel free to browse around and get to know the others. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. Steph40 joined on the 11/17/2019. View Member

Hello Il_picasso, Welcome to ipsProArcade. Please feel free to browse around and get to know the others. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. Il_picasso joined on the 11/16/2019. View Member

Hello Mumel, Welcome to ipsProArcade. Please feel free to browse around and get to know the others. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. Mumel joined on the 11/14/2019. View Member

Well one is the arcade which we have control over, the other is IPS and they do not have a setting for the user to change their time format on the board (not one that I have found anyway)

The chatbox is the free version so pretty limited on what you can and cannot do with it

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?” Son: “Yeah.” Detector: “Beep.“ Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.” Detector: “Beep.” Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.” Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“ Detector: “Beep.” Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!” Detector: “Beep.”

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.” “And yer hand?” asks Morty. “When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.” “OK, but what’s with the eye patch?” “I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.” “But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.” “True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.

A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!” “Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop. The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow these drinks are big!” The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.” After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender. The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.” “Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife. “Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?” “Oh, no,” exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?” Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. “You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

SOME THINGS YOU JUST DON'T DO A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

BE CAREFUL WHO YOU HUNT WITH Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?' The operator replies, 'Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he's dead.' There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the hunter says, 'OK, now what?'

WOW you started this in 1969, didn't even know IPS was around back then

I have not had time to setup the support tab, that tab is actually for commerce not for arcade

Should be working now

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