Harry

There are three men in the jungle. Suddenly they end up in the hands of cannibals. Says the chief: "We will cook you and then eat you. We will then make rubber boats out of your skin. Before we eat you, however, each of you will be granted one last wish." The first wants a gun and shoots himself. The second also wants a gun and shoots himself too. The third thinks about it and wishes for a fork. Then he pricks his skin with his fork and shouts: "You won't make a rubber boat out of me!"

A poor, believing man prays to God: "Dear God, please let me win the lottery." The next day he prays again: "Lord, please make me win the lottery." This is how it goes day after day. After a year, the man is still praying: "Dear God, please let me win the lottery someday." Nothing happens. The man continues to pray bravely, then suddenly the room lights up and a deep, loud voice speaks to him: "Dear man, give me a chance, finally buy yourself a lottery ticket!"

The art teacher collects them from the students painted pictures. A student hands in a blank sheet of paper. Teacher: "What is that?" Student: "That's a picture of a cow eating grass." Teacher: "Where is the grass?" Student: "The cow ate everything." Teacher: "Where is the cow?" Student: "It's gone because the grass was gone.

There are three turtles on their way to a spring She is extremely thirsty. They run for a year, two years, three years and finally they arrive. The first two turtles eagerly want to jump onto the water, but the third one realizes that they have forgotten their drinking cups. "Oh, that doesn't matter!" says the first turtle. "I'm so thirsty!" complains the second turtle. "No, no," says the third turtle, "that's not possible without a drinking cup! Where are the manners! Watch out, you wait here and I'll go back and get our drinking cups!" The others have to accept it willy-nilly, sit on a stone and wait. They wait a year, two years, three years... Then one turtle can't stand it anymore and says to the other: "Well, I don't care about anything now, I have to drink something now!" She goes to the spring and just as she's about to take a drink, the third turtle comes out of a bush and says: "Well, if you cheat, I won't even start!"

What is orange and looks through the keyhole? A Spannderine. What is orange and goes over the mountains? A wanderine. What is purple and sits at the front of the church? A blackberry. What is yellow, oily and and sits in the front row at church? A pious fries. What is green and is in the coffin? A mortal. What is green and wandering around Istanbul? A gürk. What is colorful and runs away across the table? An escape salad. What is light brown and moves from piece of cake to piece of cake? A tarzipan. What is brown and floats in water? A U-Bread. What is black and white and jumps from ice floe to ice floe? A Springuin. What is brown and sticks to the wall? A sticky cake. What is light green and is in the toilet? A pisstache. What is red and sits on the toilet? A toilet. What is dark green and is in the toilet? A cactus. What is red and running up and down the street? A hazelnut. What is white and runs up and down the street? Snow chick. What is green and runs up and down the street? A frog-stitute. What is brown and wears suspenders? A hazelnut. What is yellow and is stamped and stamped on the side of the road? A poststitute. What shines and goes strange? A bitch. What is yellow and sliding down the slope? A cream slide. What is brown and goes down a snowy slope? A snow bread. What's brown and peeking through the bedroom window? A clamping pin. What is white and jumps around in the forest? A jumpignon. What is white and dances around the fire? Rumple Mushrooms. What is brown, sweet and running through the forest? A jogging bar. What is brown, sitting on a tree and dripping yellow? A squirrel. What is brown and behind bars? A prison. What is red, round and has a machine gun? A Rambodie. What is white and lies snoring on the meadow? A sleep. What is brown, crunchy and runs through the forest with a basket? The breadcap. What is brown, sticky and running around in the desert? A caramel. What is red, sitting in a can and playing music? A radio. What is green and cycling around? A Velon. What is orange, lowered and has a spoiler? A manta ray. What is yellow, crooked and floats on the water? A swan. What is yellow, juicy and sits in front of the TV every football game? A Fananas. What is orange and sadly stuck in the ground? A cloud. What is orange, sour and can't sit still for a minute? A fidget. What is hairy and fried in a pan? Beard potatoes. What is healthy and strong and plays the offended? A pouty bread. What is brown and flying through the bakery? A shot peak. What is next to the bed in the butcher's bedroom? A slaughter table lamp. What's green, sour and hiding from the police? A vinegar villain. What's orange, round and hiding from the police? A little vandal. What is green around looks through the keyhole? A spy. What is pink and floats in water? A mermaid. What is big, gray and calls from Africa? A elephant. What is transparent, stinks and he doesn't care? A squirt. What is messy and gives light? A slut. What is blonde and about 30 cm long? A Fetussy. What is yellow and flutters in the wind? A flag. What's green and knocking on the door? A dumpling salad. What is brown, very tough and flies around? A leather mouse. What's stupid, sweet and colorful? A stupid bear. What wears a tailcoat and helps around the house? A servant schnitzel. What is silvery, stinging and fun? A sadistle. What makes “moo” and helps you get dressed? A cow spoon. What is square, has knobs and a speech impediment? A Legostener.

Somewhere in the ocean some different people are stranded Nationality on a paradise island: 2 Italians and 1 Italian woman 2 French and 1 French woman 2 Germans and 1 German 2 Greeks and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarians and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 Swedes and 1 Swedish woman 2 Australians and 1 Australian woman 2 New Zealanders and 1 New Zealander woman 2 Irish and 1 Irish woman 2 Singaporeans and 1 Singaporean woman 2 Turks and 1 Turkish woman 2 Austrians and 1 Austrian woman A month later: 1 Italian killed the other because of the Italian woman. The two French people live happily with the French woman in a “menage a trois”. The two Germans have a strict weekly schedule Schedule set up as they alternate. The two Greeks sleep together and the Greek woman is allowed to sleep for them cleaning and cooking. The two Englishmen are still waiting for someone to give them to the Englishwoman presents. The two Bulgarians first met the Bulgarian and then the ocean and then swim away. The two Swedes practice the art of suicide while the... Swedish woman gives long lectures about how her body belongs to her, and about the principles of feminism. But at least it's not snowing and taxes are low. Australians are all bisexual anyway, so no problem. The two New Zealanders have started searching the island for sheep while the New Zealander is holding a banana found by chance, made friends. The Irish first divided the island into a north and a south part divided and a whiskey distillery was built. To what extent they want sex They forgot about it after the first few liters Coconut whiskeys have somehow become so foggy. But they are happy with each other, because they agree on this, the English under no circumstances give anything away! Singaporeans are still waiting for instructions from the government. The Turkish woman is permanently pregnant, so the two Turks are digging constantly looking at the blonde Swede. The two Austrians agree to the Austrian woman occasionally rented to the Turks for a fee and bought themselves but whiskey for the Irish.

Adam talks to the good Lord and asks: "Why did you make Eve so beautiful?" The good Lord answers: "So that you may like it." - "And why did you give her such a pleasant nature?" - "So that you love her." - "But then why did you make her so stupid?" - "So that she loves you."

Alfons has just come from his practice family doctor when he meets his friend Peterle, who stutters. “Wha wa wa wasss,” Peterle begins, “are you missing d- d- d-? “Prostate inflammation,” Alfons replies curtly. "Pro-pro-pro-pro-prosta," Peterle desperately tries to say, "w- w- w- what is d- d- d- then?" “That means I pee the way you talk!

A mafia boss finds out that he is his Defrauded an accountant out of $10 million. The accountant is deaf. The original idea was that a deaf accountant couldn't overhear anything and therefore couldn't testify in court. When the boss wants to take on the accountant, he brings his lawyer with him, who knows sign language. The boss asks where the $10 million is hidden. The lawyer asks the question in sign language and the accountant signals back: "I don't know what you're talking about." The lawyer replies to the boss: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." Now the boss has had enough and he pulls a 9mm pistol out of his pocket, holds it against the accountant's head and says: "Ask him again!" The lawyer signals to the accountant: "He'll kill you if you don't tell." The accountant signals back: "OK, you win. The money is in a brown suitcase, it's buried behind a shed owned by my cousin Enzo over in Queens." The boss asks: "Well, what did he say." The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

Two horses watch a horse race. One horse asks: “Why do they all run so fast?” The other answers: “Well, the fastest horse wins a prize!” The other responds: “Okay, but why do the others run?”