Harry

The teacher asks the students: "What is a turbot?" Fritzchen answers: "A very flat fish." Teacher: "And why is it so flat?" Fritzchen: "Because it had sex with a whale." Outraged, the teacher takes Fritzchen to the principal and tells him the whole story. The principal asks: "Why are you doing such nonsense?" Fritzchen: "It's not my fault that the teacher asks such stupid questions, she should have asked why the frog has such big eyes." Principal: "Why does it have such big eyes?" Fritzchen: "Well, he saw the whole thing!"

A ventriloquist is putting on a show for a group of blondes and, of course, is telling a few blonde jokes. At some point one of the blondes jumps up and yells at the stage: "Hey, you bastard up there, what are you telling all these stupid stories about blondes all the time? We're not as stupid as you pretend." - "Relax, they're all just jokes," says the ventriloquist. The blonde replies: "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the little scumbag sitting on your knee!"

Although grammar has clearly decided, many users are puzzled as to the gender of their computer. Women tend to see it as a man because: computers are full of information and yet have no idea. They are supposed to solve problems and yet most of the time they are the biggest problem themselves. To get their attention, you have to turn them on. As soon as you have decided on one, it turns out that you only had to wait a short time for a better model. Men, on the other hand, advocate for female computers: no one except their creator understands their logic. The language they use to communicate with each other is understood by no one else. They never forget even the smallest mistake. As soon as you have decided on a model, you constantly have to look for additional

Bachelor party! The future husband is asked to stick on a beard that his friends have brought him during the evening. The evening goes on and is very enjoyable. The "victim" is also very grateful to his friends that the usual stupid jokes that are otherwise the order of the day at such events are avoided. No making fun of each other, no kissing games, etc. Just wearing beards, nothing else! At the end, everyone goes to the sauna together. The future husband is happy to have survived everything. However, he is very surprised when he sees his friends: they are all radically shaved in their pubic areas. When he asked what that was about, he got the answer: "What do you think you have on your face all the time!"

It is night, a frog hops across the street. A car just manages to brake. The driver gets out and looks to see if anything has happened to the frog. The frog says to the man: "Thank you for braking, you have one wish!" The man thinks for a moment, takes the frog to the trunk, opens it and says: "Hm, my dog would like to take part in the dog race and come first!" The frog looks at the dog and says to the man: "But he only has three legs, don't you have another wish?" The man thinks for a moment, opens the passenger door: "My wife would like to take part in a beauty contest and win!" The frog looks at the man and says: "Can I see the dog again?"

A married couple goes on vacation to Turkey. After a week, the woman says to the man: "You, I want to sunbathe naked, but without anyone seeing me." The man climbs onto the hotel roof with her and finds a smooth, dark, glassy surface and says: "Here, lie down there, but on your stomach, we all look the same from behind anyway." A short time later, a hotel employee comes to the roof and says: "Can you please tell your wife to go tan somewhere else?" - "But why? Nobody can see them up here and we all look the same from behind!" - "Yes, but your wife is lying on the glass roof of our cafeteria."

The trumpeter of the orchestra, a strong one Smoker, has been complaining of headaches for some time. He goes to the doctor and he makes a clear diagnosis: "Your brain is completely covered in soot, it needs to be cleaned. Leave the brain here, I'll clean it, you can pick it up again after three weeks." The trumpeter agrees. The three weeks are up, he doesn't pick up his brain. After two months the doctor meets the trumpeter: "Don't you want to pick up your brain again?" "No, I don't need that anymore, I've become a conductor"

A blonde waddles out onto the ice and makes a hole to fish. As she was fishing, she heard a voice from above: "There are no fish here!" She doesn't respond, suddenly she hears the voice again: "There are no fish here!" She looks around but doesn't see anyone. Then she continues fishing. Then she hears the voice for the third time: "There are no fish here!" She looks up and asks very shyly: "God, is that you?" "No, I'm the spokesman for the ice rink!"

Two foxes meet in the forest. He says one to the other: "So? What are we doing today?" "Come on, let's go to the rabbit, and if he doesn't have a hat on, we'll beat him up!" They run to the rabbit, and when they arrive, he doesn't have a hat on and gets beaten up. The next day the same spectacle. On the third day the foxes get tired of it and say, "We'll go to the rabbit and beat him up if he doesn't have any cigarettes." "Well, bunny? Do you have any cigarettes?" the foxes ask. The rabbit asks: "With or without a filter?" One fox says to the other: "Look, he doesn't have a hat on again!"

It's Christmas. Two brothers get along their rooms. There are a bunch of presents under the Christmas tree, but only for one person. He gets everything he wanted. The other just a pair of socks. The rich recipient smiles: “Can it be that mom and dad like me better than you!?!” The other responds: “Could it be that you have cancer!?!”